What’s your vision for a society where friendship is valued equally to romantic or familial relationships?ĪNN FRIEDMAN: Some of it really is the stuff of policy and politics. Sow and Friedman urge us to reconsider how we approach our relationships with those who enrich our lives, recognize our Big Friendships, put in the work, and hold on tight.ĮLIZABETH DEWOLF: One thing that’s so compelling about Big Friendship is that, in addition to being a very personal story, it’s also a political project of sorts. Without societal pressure (or a marriage license) keeping you together, without cultural scripts or resources for navigating platonic conflict, it can be easy to let friendships fade, to let miscommunications or misunderstandings fester. A society that values friendship on par with other relationships offers the promise of real collectivity - a network of mutual support through which people can nurture each other beyond the nuclear family structure.īut all relationships involve work, and the fact that friendships are generally undervalued means they are more easily neglected or damaged, sometimes without our noticing. Its advanced age commands respect and predicts its ability to last far into the future.ĭrawing on the story of their own Big Friendship, as well as other formative friendships in their lives, Sow and Friedman incorporate ideas and research findings from linguists, historians, and psychologists that demonstrate how platonic relationships are critical in shaping our worlds. And almost always, a Big Friendship is mature. A Big Friendship is reciprocal, with both parties feeling worthy of each other and willing to give of themselves in generous ways.
It is large in dimension, affecting most aspects of each person’s life. bond of great strength, force, and significance that transcends life phase, geography, and emotional shifts. The co-authors define a Big Friendship as: IN THEIR NEW BOOK, Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close, long-term friends, podcast co-hosts, and co-authors Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman make the case that platonic love is just as valuable to our personal lives and to our society as the relationships we share with romantic partners or relatives.
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